QUOTE (dchaosblade @ Jun 07 2010, 12:30 PM) You feel sorry for my girlfriend because I don't expect nor do I want her to be my virtual slave? I fail to understand how this is a bad thing. Even you said it: "it is about 'YOU AND HER'" - the key point is the BOTH of you. That means that yes, you DO have to be seek things for yourself sometimes. Otherwise it would be all about the other person and not at all about yourself.
A relationship rarely works if one or the other person is completely selfless. Either the selfless person will never be completely happy or the other will be unhappy because his/her partner is too selfless. People by nature want to help others. If you always help them but never be somewhat selfish and ask or let them help you, they'll feel put off. We WANT to help.
Selfishness is not inherently bad. I'm not saying that for a relationship to work you have to be completely selfish. I'm saying there's a balance, and for a good relationship that balance is maintained. Both people have to be selfless at times, but they both have to also be a little selfish; to ask for what they want, to DO what they want, and not to just sit there and - as I said before - be a pushover.
Also, I feel kinda insulted that you imply that relationships and family have no value to me. I view both of them to be very important and sacred things. I never enter one lightly, nor do I ever leave one easily. NONE of what I've said implies otherwise so I'd kindly ask you not to throw insulting comments at anyone who doesn't have the same view as you do.
well, and I kindo felt attacked by your post too, so now we are even. You should also think twice what you write and how it comes across, not just me. You like to drop into conversation and let us know you know it all better.
I never said you need to want a slave as gf. But to say that a realationship is about selfishness? LOL, seriously?
A relationship rarely works if one or the other person is completely selfless. Either the selfless person will never be completely happy or the other will be unhappy because his/her partner is too selfless. People by nature want to help others. If you always help them but never be somewhat selfish and ask or let them help you, they'll feel put off. We WANT to help.
Selfishness is not inherently bad. I'm not saying that for a relationship to work you have to be completely selfish. I'm saying there's a balance, and for a good relationship that balance is maintained. Both people have to be selfless at times, but they both have to also be a little selfish; to ask for what they want, to DO what they want, and not to just sit there and - as I said before - be a pushover.
Also, I feel kinda insulted that you imply that relationships and family have no value to me. I view both of them to be very important and sacred things. I never enter one lightly, nor do I ever leave one easily. NONE of what I've said implies otherwise so I'd kindly ask you not to throw insulting comments at anyone who doesn't have the same view as you do.
well, and I kindo felt attacked by your post too, so now we are even. You should also think twice what you write and how it comes across, not just me. You like to drop into conversation and let us know you know it all better.
I never said you need to want a slave as gf. But to say that a realationship is about selfishness? LOL, seriously?