Relationship DISCUSSION!

What is your Relationship like?

  • A ) I have a wife

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • B ) I have a husband

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • C ) I have a girlfriend

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • D ) I have a boyfriend

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • E ) I have a crush on a girl

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • F ) I have a crush on a boy

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • G )I don't have a crush on anyone; yet.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • H )I don't want to have a Relationship, Anime is all i need.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I ) I don't want to have a Relationship.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0

warita200

Tai Youkai
Sempai
QUOTE (dchaosblade @ Jun 07 2010, 12:30 PM) You feel sorry for my girlfriend because I don't expect nor do I want her to be my virtual slave? I fail to understand how this is a bad thing. Even you said it: "it is about 'YOU AND HER'" - the key point is the BOTH of you. That means that yes, you DO have to be seek things for yourself sometimes. Otherwise it would be all about the other person and not at all about yourself.
A relationship rarely works if one or the other person is completely selfless. Either the selfless person will never be completely happy or the other will be unhappy because his/her partner is too selfless. People by nature want to help others. If you always help them but never be somewhat selfish and ask or let them help you, they'll feel put off. We WANT to help.

Selfishness is not inherently bad. I'm not saying that for a relationship to work you have to be completely selfish. I'm saying there's a balance, and for a good relationship that balance is maintained. Both people have to be selfless at times, but they both have to also be a little selfish; to ask for what they want, to DO what they want, and not to just sit there and - as I said before - be a pushover.

Also, I feel kinda insulted that you imply that relationships and family have no value to me. I view both of them to be very important and sacred things. I never enter one lightly, nor do I ever leave one easily. NONE of what I've said implies otherwise so I'd kindly ask you not to throw insulting comments at anyone who doesn't have the same view as you do.
well, and I kindo felt attacked by your post too, so now we are even. You should also think twice what you write and how it comes across, not just me. You like to drop into conversation and let us know you know it all better.

I never said you need to want a slave as gf. But to say that a realationship is about selfishness? LOL, seriously?
 

Hiasubi

-Snuggle Bunny
Retired
QUOTE (dchaosblade @ Jun 07 2010, 04:58 AM)
To everyone:
Try not to let other people's jaded outlooks on life and relationships jade your own view.
No offence but your trying to preech your views as a fact without any room for other views. Well thats how i see your recent posts anyway. Its meant to be a disccusion but the tone im getting from you is that you way is right and Waritas is wrong.

On a side note its nice to see at least one thread have daily posts
biggrin.gif
 

dchaosblade

- Lord of Chaos
Retired
My comment about jaded views was not directed at anyone, least of all Warita. The point was more along the lines of I don't want people coming into this thread seeking advice or sharing their own good fortunes (like TNT getting married) or whatnot only to read some of the things here and lose hope or whatever. This is due to a lot of what has been said as a whole, not by any particular user.
If anyone felt the comment was offensive or directed at them, I apologize.

Everything else I posted was done so in the same manner as how everyone else has. I did not declare it fact. In emphasis of this, I phrased alot of what I said as a question and threw in that it would be my personal choice. The point of the selfless/selfishness being directed at Warita was because much of what was said by her was about guys leaving girls despite them fawning over them and loving them for all their worth. I also said that 'some people' feel that way, not that it was - as a whole - the complete and total truth. This said, I do still hold that - based on my own and many other's experiences - relationships generally wont work out well in the long term if one partner is 100% selfless. Relationships are built around a balance of give and take. Both partners have to be willing to give, but they also need to be willing to take a little too. Part of the giving is feeling good when the other takes, or else people wouldn't give gifts. That bit of take is what I refer to as selfishness. It is not, per se, an act based completely around yourself, but it is built around making you happy. One of the best feelings in a relationship is knowing that you made your partner happy; how can you do this if your partner refuses to let you?
 

monsta666

-the bee's knees
Staff member
Fansub TV Team
Yes I have to agree with dchaosblade's general point that a relationship must be built on both parties being equal. If one partner dominates the relationship then it will generally not lead to a healthy relationship. There has to be a degree of give and take.

That said, a lack of equality does not mean a relationship cannot exist. I just feel if one person is completely selfless it will not lead to a satisfactory outcome. If a person is entirely selfless their acts will be at best unappreciated and in the worst case scenario abused. If the person really appreciates the generous acts they will reciprocate these actions back with kindness of their own. This really applies to all relationships be it friendship or romantic.
 

JCDRANZER

- Sky King
Retired
Awrite, I'm entering the fray and I felt the bullet-point posts DC made were clear-cut and compounded what he felt a relationship is.
rolleyes.gif


A couple will have to make sacrifices along the road to make their partner happy, the whole "give and take" business is right but these issues must be at a balance, otherwise, a relationship will crumble eventually.
wink.gif


OK, Warita mentioned something about women being more akin to relationships to men and Hia going along with that. I'm just gonna say I refuse to believe that and the reasons are there are no hard facts such as statistics and to get reults like that will be time-consuming, so not really worth the effort. In fact the statement is pretty much the same as "Women are better cooks" and it is a never-ending debate and my reply to the cook statement is, "I can cook!".
wink.gif


"Men GENERALLY looking for better whilst in a relationship", well that sounds more like the mentality of Tiger Woods, not the average male.
tongue.gif
I wouldn't say better but I know quite a lot of men who would love to get back with their ex's and I'm one actually, I'm in a relationship right now which is great and I really do like my girlfriend and adore her but recently we have been too busy to meet each other mainly because we are at different universities, exams and our generally tight schedule but we hope to spend the summer with each other. However, the love I felt for one of my ex's will take me time to take a great stride away for it and tbh it hasn't really been a massive step yet away from it. Its been 2 years since we broke up and we split because I was moving back to the UK and since she was older and way more mature than me she understood and I think for some months we actually didn't speak to each other after the break up, mainly because I was afraid of how to speak to her. A year and a half later, late last year, I met my current girlfriend and I would have to say this out loud but my new girlfriend is really really really pretty compared to my ex but when I saw my ex the first time, I literally fell head-over-heels for her and I think as I got to know her better, my love for her only grew more as time went on. The point is I sometimes think about my ex but I am trying my best to be committed in my current relationship.

Overly-Clingy women can freak out a man most of the time, I know I will be and perhaps afraid of what extreme she would go to. Certain things your partner does for you in thinking that it would please you could sometimes backfire and leave you feeling that you've be rubbed up the wrong end causing a strain. Despite the thoughts of the partner, the other party could react in an unpleasant way whilst not completely in a clear mind but perhaps later returns to apologize or leaves at that resulting in either the relationship being patched up or ended. Okay, I believe I've lost track at what I'm saying now.
sad.gif


A complete constant equilibrium in a relationship can not exist as acts of "give" and "take" can not be measured. A balance of "give and take" does exist though since a balance does not require a 50-50 situation but it depends on how much one will accept it, understand it and appreciate it.

A perfect girl doing your every bidding could be one of many fantasies that exist within most male minds but since its imaginary, emotion is lacked compared to how it would pan-pout in real life and it could actually be quite frightening because eventually the male will wonder if she loves me or just loves the idea of being bossed around.
wink.gif


Having a kind, intelligent and pretty girlfriend is most male's dream but thinking of wanting better despite having the girl is something that exists but the question comes, "Why does the male want better ?". The obvious answers are because he just wants to get on with another girl, he thinks he can get a better looking woman but its not always the case, there could be deeper reasons that the male is not revealing such as being in love with another person, etc. The thing is no one really goes into a relationship thinking I could get better, surely wen they enter a relationship together, most of the time it is because of his new partner being in his mind.
rolleyes.gif


I believe I've rambled on in this post and perhaps even missed the point a couple of times. Please forgive me if that is the case, its almost 3am here and I haven't slept in 2 days.
dry.gif
 

judge lead

-chi
Kouhai
If you answered C or D please fill in this form and post it.

Name of Girl/Boy whom you are in a relationship with: Averyl

How long has this relationship gone on:
near 3 years
How long do you intend this relationship to go on: life

How serious is this relationship: were engaged to be married
 

Hiasubi

-Snuggle Bunny
Retired
QUOTE (judge lead @ Jun 12 2010, 05:40 PM) If you answered C or D please fill in this form and post it.

Name of Girl/Boy whom you are in a relationship with: Averyl

How long has this relationship gone on:
near 3 years
How long do you intend this relationship to go on: life

How serious is this relationship: were engaged to be married
Congratulations kind sir, hope your life blossoms on until you get old and wrinkly
biggrin.gif
 

ImTakes

sama
Retired
QUOTE (mosque @ Jun 04 2010, 10:28 PM)
Can you swear this would hold true if you just happened to meet say...
wub.gif
Scarlett Johannsen
wub.gif

And she was all like "Love at first sight I gotta take you home kiddo.The key to what warita said is "something better."
It's sad but true. It stems from the fact that we men have a nearly limitless supply of gametes,
while women have an upper limit to successful reproduction.

We are free to make as many babies as we can with as wide a variety of mates as possible,
and can confidently leave our children in the care of their mothers.

But then again.. a deep meaningful relationship with someone you love and trust..
hard to find something better than that.
As I read with some amusement all the commentary posted herein, I see some things never change. Men, while charming, are one, women another. Since ancient times an interesting debate among the Sages of yore.
As far as Scarlett is concerned...I'll take her flawless skin and that fine and very hot hubby of hers...what's his name? Hell, who gives a **** when a man looks that good. See what I mean?
rolleyes.gif
Some of us women have a roving eye, too...but it is mainly comprised of sheer fantasy...
tongue.gif
wink.gif
 

judge lead

-chi
Kouhai
QUOTE (Hiasubi @ Jun 12 2010, 11:20 AM) Congratulations kind sir, hope your life blossoms on until you get old and wrinkly
biggrin.gif

thanks
smile.gif
 

ImTakes

sama
Retired
A cousin sent this to me and thought I would post here to share with all...Scandalous Affairs...true relationship destruction. I say a nasty business, be it for love or sheer sex...but a funny take on such an unsavory matter, regardless.
wink.gif


FW: The Affiars.          
The 1st Affair
A married man was having an affair
with his secretary..
One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said:
'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'
*****

The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child
he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
'No, not this time!'
*****

The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated,
and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever seen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician
commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.'
So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home.
'I have something to show
you won't believe,' he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed,
'Schwartz is dead!'
*****

The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'
'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
*****

The 5th Affair
A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.
'Where's the guy who owns this place?'
The bartender replied:
'Upstairs, with my wife.'
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs
with your wife?'
The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing
to his business down here.'
*****

The 6th & Best Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work..'
 

ImTakes

sama
Retired
Ah...the sweetness of a relationship! It can go either way but man, they sure are fun, when they are fun...now, with tongue-in-cheek, I could not resist trying to see things from a man's perspective and I just had to share it with you all...I hope many will laugh and not get your feathers all ruffled up...
rolleyes.gif
a sense of humor goes one hell of a long way.
tongue.gif

Ladies! For those of us in a relationship...let's take these rules to heart! Yeah...sure...whatever!
laugh.gif

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!
~*The Man Rules*~

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1.. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched....
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1.. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this..
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 

warita200

Tai Youkai
Sempai
LOL, what an exhausting list of excuses for not using their brain and behaving like jerks. Rofl, if it wasnt so funny, it would be sad!
 

wedora

-dono
Sempai
QUOTE (warita200 @ Aug 24 2010, 03:26 PM) LOL, what an exhausting list of excuses for not using their brain and behaving like jerks. Rofl, if it wasnt so funny, it would be sad!
You gotta meet us halfway. The list is just as bad when switched over to the female version.

Good list imtakes, I got a good laugh out of it, especially #1.
 

ImTakes

sama
Retired
QUOTE (wedora @ Aug 24 2010, 03:10 PM) You gotta meet us halfway. The list is just as bad when switched over to the female version.

Good list imtakes, I got a good laugh out of it, especially #1.
wedora-san! You are most welcome. I just love the list myself, since me, being a woman,
rolleyes.gif
well, I've run the gamit with all of the above...still, you men are way adorable!
tongue.gif
I have more funny relationship stuff and will add them later...all funny, when it comes to men and women and the games we play.
laugh.gif
 

warita200

Tai Youkai
Sempai
QUOTE (wedora @ Aug 24 2010, 04:10 PM) You gotta meet us halfway. The list is just as bad when switched over to the female version.

Good list imtakes, I got a good laugh out of it, especially #1.
wedora chan, sure, life and relationships are full of compomises. And I never said I approve of the female list
wink.gif
 

ImTakes

sama
Retired
QUOTE (wedora @ Aug 24 2010, 02:10 PM) Good list imtakes, I got a good laugh out of it, especially #1.
Well, since this thread is way overdue for some fun...here are a few funny bits...all inclined to serve as funny food for thought. Enjoy!
wink.gif


How to start a fight
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
_______________________________

My girlfriend and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....
________________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been
sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.
Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
________________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...
________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my girlfriend's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving girlfriend replied, "And, can you believe my stupid boyfriend is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
________________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________

My girlfriend was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started...
 

Nioki

-dono
Sempai
Wonder where i remember this from ?
tongue.gif


But really there are quite a number of, if you think rationally, odd reasons to start fights from. And how easy people get misunderstood.

Actually just now, I got into a fight with a friend over Skype, how I understand from the end of our long conversation, only because I grammatically corrected a word of his, after which he said he doesn't like when he gets corrected and I said - Whats so bad about that? Wise people should make use of that correction. And then the fight started...

I especially hate the fact that when people are angry they are deaf to what others are saying, and see only things that aggravate their anger even more.

And all this happened considering he knows I pay double attention to grammar in Russian since mine is so bad.

Oh what to do.. :|
__________________________
And is it just me or do people grow silent in a topic after I make a post?
 

wedora

-dono
Sempai
QUOTE (Nioki @ Dec 16 2010, 06:26 PM) And is it just me or do people grow silent in a topic after I make a post?
They are too busy looking at your signature to make a post.

In all seriousness, it just happens all the time because the posters are dwindling, especially if its not in the main anime sub-forum. Its not just you.

Do you make sigs btw?
 
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