QUOTE (warita200 @ Jun 15 2007, 07:24 PM) how to identify the 2 faced ppl? Now thats a hard question.
I will give you two advices.
1) Ppl who will look deep in your eyes and tell you how sincere they are and bla bla bla, and even tell you stories out of their lives, that ilustrate their good character..... those are
the biggest liars ever.
2) Watch how the person in question behaves towards ppl, who he believes to be on a lower level. A lot of 2 faced ppl treat their "equals" nicely and pretend to be friendly and goodie goodie, but they treat other ppl like shit, because in their eyes they dont deserve any better. You can for example pay attention when the 2 faced person tells stories out of his life. When he for example enjoys telling you stories, where he "let somebody feel his superiority, or humiliated somebody (it doesnt matter, if that person deserved it or not, usually there is always a reason, if you know what I mean), then you can expext the worst from him. To know how to "translate" stories out of somebody´s life is especially difficult, because it takes a lot of life experience to know how to read them. The person who is telling you the story will of course try to make himself look good and justify his action. You have to strip his action of the justification and look at it neutrally. I will give an example, ok? Once I was dating a guy and we talked about his previous relationship and I asked him about his ex girlfriend. And he told me, that he broke up with her about 3 months ago and I asked why. And he said: "well, we had a fight, because of some triviality and then she screamed at me, that she breakes up with me, so I did what I knew would hurt her the most. I took the engagement ring and trew it into the sewer". Well, I was left speechless, because he just showed me his other face.
He did what would most hurt her? OK, I can expect that kind of treatment from him sooner or later too, I started to keep distance from him and as it later turned out, I was damn correct!!! He was treating me nice, because he wanted to make me his girlfriend, but I could tell from the stories out of his life, what kind of person he actually is. And I didnt allow him to fool me. Of course he always justified his actions, but that doesnt make it any better what he did, does it?
To put it simply, to avoid 2 faced ppl, pay attention to how they behave and look for alarm signals in their stories.
I dont know, if this makes any sense to you. I have found out, that one has to make this experience personally and go through the pain and enlightment, to fully grasp the idea. But I hope I could be of help.
reason 1 is really true... its always easy to spot a liar because he'll do everything to convince you he is innocent - even things that go out of his way. i have personally exprienced reason 1 myself and it actually sickens me when people do that... i do know some people in my school who does what warita described and its always them and some other person involved in some fight or other that the year co-ordinator has to sort out because 'so and so has been back stabbing me blah blah blah.' i know this reason
very well...
reason 2) i haven't actually exprienced it but it really makes sense especially when you think about it in context of the first reason. the first thing to do in judging if a person is trust-worthy or not is usually seen through the way they interact with other people as they might not be trying to manipulate that other person hence treating them with their 'true colours'
if you really want to see these things first hand - go to an all girl's school, its a daily occurance
girls can get really vicious and when girls get started (especially when its in an all girl's envrionment) it is truly a sight to see...