How do you get a signature

I would like to know how to get a signature and a avatar that doesn't suck

Well, first off welcome to the forums. You can make a request in the Sig & Ava Request Thread. Just tell us exactly what you would like to have in the avatar and signature, hopefully somebody might take up your request. But of course if you would like to have a sig and avatar that doesn't suck, you can always follow the different tutorials available in the Tutorials Section and make your own sig. The fact is that we cannot guarantee that the sig or avatar which will be made, will be to your liking.